


Shredded Letters and Telltale Expressions

by hopipp (fancy2na)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Pining, Rivalry, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-05-28 17:14:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6337978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancy2na/pseuds/hopipp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the navigator and the swordsman have more in common than they thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Threshold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a self indulgent little story that kinda just happened (and got slightly out of hand) because I wanted to write about Nami and Zoro being gay bffs.

It all takes off with the wind on a breezy spring day.

Nami is reclining on a lawn chair beside Robin, who is using an extra hand to keep down the pages of her novel despite the pestering draft. To her left, she sees Sanji coming out of the galley to stand over by the Sunny’s railing. Cigarette at home between his lips, he cups his hands around his face as he struggles irritatedly to light it.

It's _Zoro's_ expression, though, that catches the navigator’s attention.

The swordsman had been asleep a minute ago, napping casually on the deck against the mast- nothing new. But now his gaze is on the cook, discreetly, as if being caught sneaking a glance would get him into trouble.

And maybe it's just because Nami _knows_ that look- she's seen it directed more times than she’d like at herself, but she’s certain she’s made it in lieu of a specific person too. The wind is stirring Sanji’s hair around his head like a halo of gold, and written all over Zoro's face is pure, unadulterated _want_.

There is adoration in the lift of his eyebrows, devotion in the twinkle of his eyes. And everything about this realization floors Nami absolutely.

_How the hell have I not noticed this before?_

Sanji finally gets his cigarette going, pale mouth caressing it with familiar intimacy as he takes a drag (she wonders briefly why he didn’t just go light it inside). His eyelids flutter closed, long lashes dusting his cheek as the nicotine fills his lungs. Nami and Zoro are both watching when he parts them just slightly, removing the butt from his mouth to expel a stream of smoke which gets whooshed away by the atmosphere.

The mood shifts right then, and something like sadness washes over Zoro's careful features, just for a fleeting moment- it would have remained unnoticed had Nami not deliberately looked out for it.

Sanji turns his head towards Zoro, but when he does other's eyelids immediately shut again, feigning the nap he probably hasn't actually taken. His face becomes a mask of indifference, all evidence expertly concealed and carefully locked away- tiny silver key thrown overboard to the Sea Kings.

 _Sanji doesn’t know,_ she realizes dolefully.

The cook once-overs the swordsman, takes another drawn out puff, then shoves his hands into his pockets. He finishes off his smoke while gazing straight out into the distance, then retreats back toward the galley to prepare tonight’s dinner.

Zoro doesn't move from his spot on the grass when the door clicks shut, not even when the aroma of something buttery and delicious fills the air around them, teasing their nostrils.

"Zoro." Before she knows it she’s approaching him about it, and she’s not even sure why. "Zoro, can we talk?"

"Hah?" he snorts, and Nami really has to commend him for his nonchalance, she wonders how long this has been going on.

"What?"

"Not here though." she whispers, noting everyone else around them who are all obliviously doing their own thing, but still within earshot. Franky and the boys are trying to fly some kind of colourful kite, while Robin continues to read her book contentedly on the sidelines.

Zoro lowers his arms from their perch behind his neck, giving them a stretch.

"Whaddaya' wanna talk about?” He yawns, then narrows his eyes at her suspiciously “Is this about that loan you gave me for sake? I paid you back already for that- you can’t charge me more interest for it."

"I know, this isn’t about money..." Nami trails off, wary of a potential audience. "Will you just come with me?"

He scrutinizes her, still apprehensive, and truthfully she doesn't blame him one bit for it. She presumes the sincere tone of her voice is what does it though, because a heartbeat later she's leading him into the Thousand Sunny’s library and closing the door behind them.

The only articles of interest in the room are several bookshelves and a cluttered desk in the centre, all surrounded by dozens of maps hanging from the walls. It’s a well-illuminated space though; the natural light that filters in from the windows is much brighter than the dewy glow provided by the portholes in the rooms below deck.

Though the library doubles as Nami’s map-making room, it's only really Robin and Chopper who come in here to read sometimes, as well as Sanji who occasionally brings up drinks and snacks. She knows for a fact that Zoro has only ever been inside the library a handful of times, for one reason or another, because usually nobody else dares to disturb the navigator when she's working.

“Why am I here?” Zoro asks, leaning back against the wooden door.

Nami is still unsure of what has compelled her to do this, it could blow up in her face like the flick of a switch, but something in her gut tells her it'll be alright.

She pulls out a small key from her skirt pocket, then walks over to the lone wooden desk. After sticking it in the lock of the bottom right drawer, she reaches into the deepest corner and removes a single unsealed envelope.

Tentatively, she hands it to Zoro, who accepts it with bewildered curiosity.

The address reads:

_Her Majesty, Princess Nefertari Vivi,_

_The Royal Palace, Alubarna_

_Kingdom of Alabasta._

The sender is anonymous.

Turning it over in his hands, but not opening it, Zoro asks,

“Do you want me to mail this or something?"

"I want you to read it." she tells him.

Warily, he does- he removes the letter from the envelope and reads every word on each of the four pages with careful consideration.

When he lifts his gaze to meet hers again, he is thoroughly dumbstruck, baffled completely by her trust in handing him such personal information.

Written within that letter is Nami's own heart and soul, her feelings poured out in the form of ink on parchment. She had written it not long after leaving Alabasta when her spirits had been lowest. She filled the margins with her dreams, her longings, her most intimate secrets-

It's a love note that she's never had the nerve to send.

"Why are you sharing this with me?" he asks her weakly, now holding the letter with extreme caution, as if it were something explosive, like a cannonball about to expire.

It’s true that they’ve never been the most amicable nakama on the ship, but aside from Luffy, she’s known Zoro longer than she’s known any of their other crewmates, and she thinks that ought to count for something. And sure, they’ve had countless arguments, and she can admit that she's used him for both muscle and bank on more occasions than she's proud of, but she respects him with her entirety, and he to her as well, she’s certain of it, even though they haven’t actually voiced it aloud.

Nami smiles tiredly at him, then slips the letter out of his fingers to tuck it back into it's envelope.

"Because you and I have something in common." she answers.

Zoro says nothing, the room is stone silent albeit for the chirping of the gulls and muffled voices of their crewmates outside.

Nami returns the letter to her drawer, carefully locking it up again, but when she turns back to the swordsman he's got a hand clutched desperately around his sword, the white one, but not as if he were about to use it, moreso as if the feel of its hilt in his grasp brings him some form of comfort.

"Does... anyone else know?" He asks, voice unsteady.

"About you or about me?"

"Both, I guess."

"I don't think so," Nami shakes her head, "But you can never be sure with Robin."

"Oh."

They lapse into quietude for a second time, and it's awkward as hell, frankly, but Nami thinks this may be a good thing for the both of them- knowing they're not alone in their arduous situations. She hopes this isn’t too forward of her.

"Zoro-"

"Nami-"

They both try to speak at once, instead cutting the other off. Soon enough she's giggling, and he's smirking too, the tension alleviating from the air as he loosens his grip on his sword.

"You go first." she suggests, "What were you going to say?"

"I was just gonna ask..." Zoro trails off, and Nami is amazed by the deep blush that spans across his dark skin- a phenomenon she presumes not many people have had the privilege of witnessing.

"When did you find out about me?"

"Honestly, just now." she admits sheepishly, "I saw the way that you looked at him."

Zoro swears under his breath, but Nami just raises a hand and places it (she hopes) comfortingly on his broad shoulder.

"It's fine, you know." she assures him.

"No, its _not_." he frowns, but doesn't move to shake off her touch "I can’t afford to have weaknesses like these when I want to be the world’s greatest swordsman.”

“You can still be the best with a slight handicap.” She says honestly “Just like how I can make a map of the world with one half of my heart on the other side of the Grand Line.”

“It’s true that I won’t let it stop me...” Zoro sighs, then adds, like an afterthought, “Of all people though. For me, there couldn't have been anyone worse."

"Even Luffy?" she suggests, to lighten his mood, but Zoro just shakes his head.

"Luffy would’ve been a thousand times better."

"Still." Nami insists, then gives his shoulder a slight squeeze "You’re not alone anymore, and neither am I."

"How long does it take for it to go away?" he asks her hopefully. "A few weeks?"

Nami bites her lip in response. It hasn’t for her, so how could she even know? She misses Vivi with the entirety of her being, day after day. She longs for her smile with every brush stroke she marks on her maps- yearns to hear her tinkling laughter every night she spends sleepless. Even in her dreams, there's always a flash of cerulean hair, silky even though she can't feel it- and a gentle hand that's always there to shoo away her nightmares.

"I couldn't tell you.” is what she says.

Zoro just curses again.

“Fuck.”

“Same.” She agrees, because she can't argue with him on that, "But if you think about it…" she adds, expression softening, "This is the first time you and I have ever really had anything in common."

“... Huh.”

Zoro uncrosses his arms and blinks at her.

"Mhm."

“Who woulda’ thought?"

“Right?”

They catch themselves sharing a wistful grin in their vulnerability. Even though the navigator and the swordsman have had their differences, neither would have wished the burden of heartbreak on anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you don’t think nami would write a 4 page love letter i invite you to skip to chapter 7 ^^


	2. Overexertion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note on the timeline: the first chapter takes place about a week after Thriller Bark. This chapter is about a month after!

Nami and Zoro go on as usual without mentioning their unlikely conversation in the library.

Things are different though, because now, whenever Sanji coddles and swoons over her (which is still quite often), there's the sinking feeling of guilt resting heavy in her stomach.

There’s a particular incident that really stands out, however.

The sun is strong that day, the heat sweltering, and Nami and Robin are sprawled out on their favourite lawn chairs, baking in the sunlight.

“Ne, Robin,” Nami calls, and Robin just hums in response at her, “Could you put a little more lotion onto my back for me? I can feel it burning.”

“Robin-chwan! Don’t worry about dirtying your dainty little hands~!” A voice coos, and in the blink of an eye Sanji is handing the archaeologist some sort of orange tropical drink, and snatching the bottle of sunscreen off the table himself.

“I’ll do it for you, Nami-swan~!”

“Uh, sure, thanks Sanji-kun.”

At this, Nami's eyes immediately flicker to Zoro, who's leaning against the railing. The swordsman is deliberately _not_ watching the events taking place between the girls and the cook, but Nami knows now- she can recognize that forlorn _look_ in his eyes even from a distance.

The cold lotion and careful hands on her skin jolt her. Every one of Sanji’s touches just fuels the flame that is Nami’s raging guilt. And Sanji’s not even being inappropriate about it or anything, he really is just applying lotion like a normal human being, rubbing it in circles on her back, not missing a single spot- but when Zoro deliberately ducks his head and flees to the crow’s nest, she finds herself scrambling to her feet right after him.

“Th-thanks Sanji-kun! I just realized I forgot my sun hat, I’ll be right back!” She babbles out quickly, leaving the cook standing there with a confused expression and sunscreen smeared all over his hands.

“Nami-san! Your cabin is the other way!”

She ignores his calls, instead building herself up with penitent conviction as she climbs the ladder after Zoro.

Sanji rubbing lotion on her back... that clearly bothered him a lot. She thought maybe since he hasn’t brought it up lately that he was getting over his thing for the cook, but the expression on Zoro’s face told all.

_It’s getting worse._

When she enters the airy little room, she immediately sees the swordsman working out on the mats. She thinks for a moment maybe she really did misinterpret the situation and is about to retreat when suddenly she notices the arrangement of weights on his barbell- two tonnes. It’s the heaviest combination that can be arranged on one bar, and beneath it, Zoro is at it's complete mercy. He can’t lift it an inch off the ground.

 _Not even a giant could manage that,_ Nami thinks, ill at ease.

"Zoro." she calls out to him, but he doesn’t hear her, instead struggling more in his futile task.

Concerned for his safety, she moves to stand in front of him, hands on her hips defiantly.

“What?” He croaks, grip still steady.

“You’re going to hurt yourself!”

Visibly exasperated that his body won’t obey him, Zoro takes a deep breath and tries again. His complexion darkens to a deep crimson as he heaves the bar, wiry veins protruding from his forehead and arms.

"S’ fine." He wheezes, body trembling like a leaf.

He’s working himself to maximum overdrive, ready to pass out in the most foolhardy way possible-

“ZORO STOP IT!” She shrieks, and the moment the words escape her lips he gets the barbell off of the floor by the barest millimeter.

Triumphant, he drops it with a loud ‘whump’, then falls backwards onto the mat, eyes watering and breath erratic.

“You idiot!” She howls, snatching the flask of water on the bench and all but throwing it at his face, “Are you trying to kill yourself?!”

“I had it under control.” He grumbles, taking a greedy swig.

“It doesn’t matter! Overexerting yourself to that extreme is not going to make you any stronger! Even _you_ know that much!”

“But I still lifted it, didn’t I?”

Zoro crosses his arms stubbornly, lip pouted, and the gesture reminds Nami of a petulant young child- or of Luffy.

She stares at him incredulously, “Would you like me to tell Chopper about this? What would he say if he saw how much that barbell weighed?”

“Don’t tell Chopper!” Zoro blurts, and Nami raises an admonishing eyebrow at him.

“I won’t do it again, okay?”

“Do you swear?”

“Yes, I swear.” He agrees, “Now what do you want?”

In her panic over his safety, she had nearly forgotten her incentive. Reminded once again of why she followed him up here, she realizes exactly why he was pushing himself to the edge of his limits.

_This is Zoro’s way of coping._

“Oh, Zoro…” she gasps, contrite, "You don’t need to do this.”

“Do what?” He asks obliquely.

“This isn’t a healthy way to get over someone.” she nearly whispers it, and Zoro’s eyes grow wide before they narrow.

“Why are you here?” He demands harshly, “What do you _really_ want?”

“I just...” She trails off, because now it all seems so silly to her, “I wanted to make sure you were okay. Sanji was-”

 _“Don’t_ mention him!” the swordsman growls, hands balling into fists at his side, “I’m fine, alright? You can leave- go back to your fancy drinks and your sunbathing. I don’t care.”

 _He’s in so much pain_ , she realizes, hating that she’s a part of what’s causing it all. And it’s hard not extending that bitterness toward Sanji too.

_Clueless idiot._

“Still, I’m sorry.” she insists, “I there anything I can do to make things better?”

 _"Why?_ ” He balks “This is my problem, not yours."

 _Oh! I see,_ she realizes, _h_ _e must have been enduring it alone for so long_

_and he didn’t understand what I meant_ _about supporting each other back in the library that day._

"That may be true,” she asserts, hardening her voice to convey her sincerity, “But I care about you, Zoro, and it hurts me to know that I'm somehow involved in hurting you, even if I have no control over the situation."

The swordsman rises to his feet, anger boiling like lava beneath his skin. No longer a child- now Nami would compare him to a wounded animal. A tiger, maybe, ready to stand his ground and pounce.

"I don't need your _pity_ , Nami,” he hisses, grinding his teeth with seething rage, “Besides, I'm over it."

_Over it?_

"Bullshit!” She hollers, because does he seriously believe he can scare her away?

_Who exactly does he think he’s kidding?_

Zoro says nothing, just glowers quietly under her glare.

"I don't pity you! God, you should know that I, of all people know what it's like! I know how _he’s_ like!” She persists, and the swordsman’s features seem to soften a bit at this, his shoulders slumping just slightly.

“We’re nakama, Zoro. When I see you suffering like this, I want to be there for you.”

He’s silent for another moment, but then admits with a reluctant sigh,

"I… yeah. You're right, I'm sorry."

“It’s fine.” She replies, but he just shakes his head.

“No, that was... dishonourable of me. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“I don’t want you taking it out on yourself either.” Her eyes flicker to the incriminating barbell on the mat, “But I _will_ be supportive if you want to beat up Sanji a little more than usual.”

Zoro snorts at that, then walks over to one of the large lookout windows. Unsure of what else to do, Nami follows him.

They peer down on the others below; Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper are fishing off of the side of the ship, Robin is still sunbathing, while Brook and Franky are combining their musical talents in a violin-banjo duet. And Sanji.. he’s having a smoke of course- arms folded in on himself over the balcony while he stares off into the horizon, probably wondering why Nami hasn't come back yet.

“He brings out the worst in me,” Zoro admits quietly, his eyes glued to the distant form of the oblivious cook below. “He’s a lecherous idiot through and through, and he wears his heart on his sleeve where anyone can rip it off and crush it under their feet- like it's not even a weakness. His attitude towards women is _suffocating_ , I can't even imagine how his obsessiveness makes you and Robin feel, and yet...”

Zoro sighs again, then rubs his palms against his temples,

“At the same time, he's also incredibly hardworking, boundlessly loyal, and wickedly clever. When we fight I want to pull his hair so hard that he screams, then push him against that stupid railing and kiss him until he’s dizzy. And god- I really wanna see what his other fucking eye looks like."

 _Zoro is pouring his heart out to me_ … Nami realizes suddenly, _He’s actually letting me in._

She is speechless.

The swordsman still has that melancholy look is in his own eyes. It’s even more profound from this close up- and it makes Nami want to wrap him up in a blanket and tell him it’ll be alright, even though she doubts it will get any easier with him already this far gone.

“Whenever I'm around him, I feel like my skin is too tight.” Zoro is nearly whispering at this point, and Nami is for some reason holding her breath, “Which is weird, because it’s _his_ presence that’s too much to handle- like it’s overflowing, not _mine_. But when he’s in the room I feel infected by his passion… I don’t understand it. These feelings are so new and weird to me."

“Is it like, the colours get brighter, somehow.” she asks hesitantly, and he turns to look into her sympathy filled eyes with gratified solace, “Your body feels like it weighs more but less all at once, and you begin to notice the stupidest little things; like a stray piece of hair that’s always sticking up, and the exact shade of their eyes under the sun, or even how their expression lights up when they tell you about something that they love. And then suddenly it’s not stupid or weird at all… it’s actually the most important thing in the world.”

“Except that it shouldn’t be.” Zoro says in a remorseful voice, “Not when you have promises to keep and dreams to fulfill.”

_Maybe I can’t tell him it’ll be all right_

_but what I can tell him is…_

_I’m here for you._

“I told you, I _can_ relate.” Nami chuckles, and is pleased to see that she has somewhat lightened his spirits, “Did it make you feel better to get that off of your chest?”

“The two tonne barbell or the embarrassing confession?” He asks cheekily, but she just smacks him in the arm.

“It guess it helped a little.” A smile hints at the edges of Zoro’s mouth.

“Well you’re welcome, you asshole.” she asserts.

The swordsman’s eyes flicker once more to the cook below. There is a brief moment of silence, but then he asks,

“Nami?”

“Yes?”

Zoro tears his gaze away from the window to look her in the eyes again.

“If we're gonna be in this together, could you do me a favour?”

She swallows a nervous lump in her throat.

“What is it?”

“If I’m being… obvious, can you stop me?”

_Oh, Zoro…_

“Of course, you can count on me.” She tells him, and he just nods gratefully.

“Wanna get out of here and pretend none of this ever happened?” he suggests.

“Definitely- let’s go steal one of those funky orange drinks.” 

She flashes him a comforting smile, then the two of them descend from the crow’s nest feeling a little bit lighter than before.

 

~~~

 

In the morning, Sanji has a routine, and he more or less sticks to it no matter where the Thousand Sunny finds itself floating on these boundless seas.

He tries to be the first person to wake up in the early hours so that breakfast will be ready when the rest of his crewmates follow suit, but on occasion he’ll find Robin already in the galley- a pot of fresh coffee brewing on the stovetop.

“I hope you don’t mind me using your kitchen, Cook-san.” She’ll always say, and Sanji will tell her,

“Of course not, Robin-chwan! My kitchen is also yours.”

He’ll remind her repeatedly to wake him next time, even though he knows the request is fruitless. He doesn't mind though, really, since it's _Robin_ , so he tries not to dwell upon it much since there's nothing more he can do.

But whether the first out of bed or the second, after the coffee has begun brewing Sanji always walks outside to the balcony for his first smoke of the day.

The sunrise is always mesmerizing at this time- the horizon painted in brilliant magentas and ambers. It colours his mornings, and reminds him that All Blue is waiting for him somewhere out in that infinite distance. Today is just another day sooner, another voyage closer. 

When he hears the whirring of the coffee pot, an indication that it's contents are ready, he retreats back into the galley to begin preparing breakfast.

Robin is here today, and Sanji pours her a steaming cup before starting on a fresh batch of banana walnut muffins, as well as enough bacon to circle the Grand Line at least twice.

By the time everything is ready, the rest of the crew have started to pour in, more or less in their usual order; Brook, Nami, Chopper, Usopp, Franky, Luffy, then Zoro.

"Idiot marimo is always last." Sanji mumbles irritatedly as he proceeds to pile bacon onto Luffy’s plate.

Zoro takes a seat beside Nami, and Sanji has noticed that he’s been doing so quite often in the past weeks- particularly since that weird incident when Nami followed Zoro to the crow’s nest (did she think he didn’t see where she was going?).

It’s strange, actually. He’s caught the navigator and the swordsman sharing private glances on several occasions since then, and their new _friendliness_ really raises his suspicion levels.

The possibility of something going on between his nakama rubs Sanji the wrong way, and it’s not just because dear Nami-swan is too good for any of the primitive apes on this ship.

He’s not so naive to deny that what he’s feeling isn’t jealousy, because that's definitely what the burning in his chest feels like- but even then it’s completely different from all of the other times unworthy men have tried (and failed) to earn Nami’s affections.

 _Is it because it’s Zoro this time?_ he ponders while removing a second batch of muffins from the oven, _Am I jealous of the marimo?_

The idea doesn’t sit right in his gut, like it’s true that he’s envious of how close they’ve become, but not because he wishes he were the swordsman.

_How the hell could I ever wanna be that brute?_

Regardless, something is going on beneath the surface, but he shouldn't be so hasty to make assumptions without more information.

 _I’m just thinking about it too much,_ he decides while stacking the muffins in a pyramid on a tray.

His musings are interrupted by an urgent tapping sound, and when he turns his head he sees a courier-pelican perched on the edge of a porthole.

“Woah, is that mail?” Usopp wonders excitedly, sauntering over to let the bird in. “We haven't gotten mail in _ages_!”

“That’s because our ship was easier to locate in East Blue, and even near the beginning of the Grand Line.” Nami tells him, knowledgeable and beautiful as ever. “It’s difficult to deliver to pirate ships on the move, especially when they’re this far out.”

“Someone must really wanna talk to us then, huh?” Luffy says between mouthfuls of bacon.

“Who’s it from?” Franky asks, and Usopp reaches into the pelican’s bill to retrieve a single white envelope.

The bird flies back out through the porthole, and Sanji quietly moves to shut it again when Usopp announces excitedly,

“It’s from Alabasta!”

Excited chatter ensues, and Sanji notices Nami and Zoro share one of _those glances_ again.

“Ooooh it must be from Vivi!” Luffy chirps.

“And Carue too!” Chopper adds.

“Who are Vivi-san and Carue-san?”

“I dunno.” Franky and Brook both shrug innocuously.

“They’re our old crewmates!”

“Usopp! Hurry up and open it!”

“Yeah! What are you waiting for, Usopp?!”

Luffy and Chopper are bouncing excitedly in their seats, but the sharpshooter’s eyes are still scanning the page.

“I shouldn’t,” he says, shaking his head, “The letter is only addressed to Nami, it’s not my place.”

Silence fills the room, and Nami goes absolutely _white._

“Awww why is it just for Nami?” Luffy whines while Usopp hands her the letter.

“Hey Nami,” Chopper asks, beady eyes wide and pleading, “If it’s allowed, can you read it to us too?”

“I.. um… sure.” The navigator replies with a slight tremor in her voice. “Of course I can.”

Discreetly, Zoro places his hand on her back and whispers something into her ear. It drives Sanji absolutely crazy, but at the same time he has to admit that Nami looks deeply troubled by something. Where he'd usually beat the marimo senseless for putting his hands on Nami like that, he can't deny that the entire situation feels off. But for some reason Sanji has a hunch that making Nami read that letter out loud will only cause her to feel worse.

“Guys, let Nami-san read it on her own first.” Sanji announces, and he’s met by an expression of relieved gratitude from the navigator, “Vivi would have addressed it to all of us if it was meant to be shared. We should respect Vivi’s wishes, and Nami’s privacy.”

Zoro is staring at Sanji with what looks like unmasked shock and… something else entirely. His loaded gaze makes the cook feel confused and exposed.

 _What?_ Sanji mouths indignantly to him, but the swordsman doesn’t respond in any way- he just continues his intense staring.

“Sanji is right.” Luffy declares in a serious voice, “Nami doesn’t need to share the letter with us if she doesn’t want to.”

All eyes are on Luffy after that sudden comment, but the captain just shrugs it off and gets back to his breakfast as if nothing had happened.

“Thanks Luffy. And Sanji-kun too.” Nami says as she sits up from her seat, “I’ll be in the library. Luffy- you can finish my bacon.”

“HELL YEAH!” The captain cheers, instantly snatching up her plate.

Nami meets Zoro’s eyes one last time before tightening her grip around the letter and exiting the galley.

When both cutlery and conversation have picked up again, the swordsman slips away too, and Sanji is left frowning at their empty seats, even more confused about the situation than before.


	3. Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: just realized that the little berry symbol I inserted only appears on desktop, so if you're reading this on mobile that's what the little white box beside 16,000,000 is aha ^^

Zoro finds Nami hunched over her desk in the library, arms an impeding cocoon around her face, with the incriminating letter crumpled into a ball under the force of her right fist.

“Can I read it?” Zoro inquires softly.

A miserable groan is the only acknowledgement he receives.

"...Oi."

“Go for it.” she grumbles.

Consent given, Zoro carefully pries the letter out of her vicelike grip, then flattens it out on the edge of the table.

It reads,

_Nami,_

_It’s been a while! Carue found a kind young pelican who was willing to deliver this letter through one of his super spot-billed duck squad friends, so I had to take this chance to write! I'm just praying that Pelly finds you.. everyone knows how difficult it is to send mail to ships traveling on the Grand Line._

_I wanted to tell you that I miss you guys with all of my heart, and that I’ve been following you in the papers, of course! It sounds like you've caused quite the commotion on Enies Lobby, huh? It was refreshing to see all of your smiling faces on the cover- even if they were all on wanted posters! Is it improper of me as a princess to say that I'm proud of you? It seems like you’re having an adventure of a lifetime, and that you’re just one step closer to achieving your dreams._ _I saw that you’ve recruited new crewmates, too! I hope one day you’ll introduce me to them, when all is said and done._

_As for me, it’s been wonderfully peaceful here in Alubarna. It’s even been rainy! We’ve erected some beautiful fountains all around the city, and the water that they spray is fresh enough to drink. They unite people from all over the kingdom; even children can be found splashing around inside them from time to time! Kohza thinks that next we should construct one in front of the castle and make it more impressive and grand than any of the other fountains, but we can’t seem to agree on a design. What do you think, Nami? You’ve always had an eye for this sort of stuff._

_Oh! Speaking of Kohza, he’s come to live at the castle with us as our official head of public service! I see him all the time now, which is nice. Just between you and me... sometimes at night, he climbs into my room through the window and we chat about the good old days for hours. We talk about you guys a lot too. I’m glad that he and I have the opportunity to rekindle the friendship that we had as children._

_Anyways, I sent this letter because I wanted you to know that no matter what happens, no matter how many powerful enemies you make- you'll always have another nakama across the sea supporting you. But as much as I wish I were sailing with you all, I still don't regret my decision to stay behind and rebuild my country._ _I’ve been incredibly busy here as well, and I promise that next time you visit, Alabasta will be an absolute metropolis. Look forward to it!_

_Please say hello to everyone for me, and remember to stay vigilant! Gosh, I really hope this letter gets to you! Best of luck! I can’t wait to see those world maps when you’ve finished them, and to tell everyone that I’m friends with the Pirate King’s crew!_

_With love,_

_Vivi_

_X_

"Nami." Zoro calls her, but the navigator's arms stay firmly in place. Her shoulders, though, are shaking uncontrollably.

"He's just living there," Zoro says, "It doesn’t mean anything."

Nami reveals her face to glare at him. Her eyes are misty, but her expression is as hard as ever.

"It does though." she argues, pulling the letter out of his hands "Everything written here just reinforces the things I already knew and parades them in front of my face on one convenient, convicting page."

"What do you mean?” he asks, baffled, “She said she misses you, that's a good thing!"

"No, Zoro!” She snips, getting up from the chair to put her hands on her hips and lean forward in that condescending way she often does, “Do you know what this letter tells me?"

"What does it tell you?"

"That since we left Alabasta- for months, I’ve been completely delusional!” Frustrated, she kicks the desk for good measure, and a few pencils and rulers fall down onto the floor.

“Oi- Nami…”

“Vivi is a _princess!”_ The distraught navigator continues, looking ready to give the desk another whack, “She has the weight of an entire country on her shoulders, and a line of royal blood to continue. Who am I? I'm just a pirate- a pirate thief at that. Now with a  16,000,000 bounty on my head! And the big cherry on top of this bullshit flavoured parfait is that I'm a _woman_! In the long run... I can't... I can't give her an _heir_ , I could never sit beside her on a throne- not someone like me."

Zoro wonders if maybe Nami's having an outburst similar to his own that day in the crow's nest. He recalls how much better he had felt after he had vented, so he opts to quietly pick up the scattered mapping tools from the floor and let Nami continue her frustrated harangue. 

"Kohza is everything Vivi needs.” She irritably plucks a pen from the swordsman's hand and places it in its specific holder, “He's perfect for her, and she knows him even better than she knows me. They grew up together, and they share the same passion for their country. He's even already won the hearts of the people. Most importantly, he can actually give her a family.” she lets out a sigh as Zoro returns one last ruler to it’s place on her desk, “How could I claim to love her and not want what’s best for her? Do you know what happens to people like _us_ in the public eye? Bad things, Zoro."

"You don't get to decide what’s best for her." Zoro finally snaps, "It’s not your decision to make. It's Vivi’s.” His expression is fierce, steel eyes blazing, “How will you know what she wants if you don't talk to her about it? It sounded to me like she's waiting for you. And when have you, or her, or any of us ever been scared of anything? You _know_ that Luffy would raise hell if anyone ever tried. We all would." 

"Zoro.. I appreciate it but it's not that easy." Nami protests, her usually velvety voice cracking, "There's still one more big thing."

"And what's that?"

"Kohza is _there_ , and I'm _here_." Dismayed, she crushes the letter even more in her fist, "We're _oceans_ apart, and I'm not just gonna toss away my dream and Luffy’s and even yours and everyone else's to take a one in a million chance. We can't turn back now- I don't even want to. Vivi is happy where she is, and I.. I just need to forget about all this, it's in the past now. I need to…” she coughs a bit, and Zoro hopes those aren't tears beginning to well up in her eyes,  _oh no,_

“I’m just overreacting over something stupid, I-“

“Your feelings aren’t stupid.” Zoro tells her bluntly, but a single crystal tear spills over her freckled cheek anyways.

“Sorry, I shouldn't even be letting it get to me like this but it's... it's so hard! And no matter how much I try I just- I feel so alone without her and I can’t stop _caring_ -" she hugs her arms around her waist, her shoulders slouched inwards and face contorted, and Zoro all of a sudden feels useless. "Now, with the world government and god knows who else out for our hides who knows what'll happen next? Not just to us, but to her too, if they find out about her relationship with us..." 

He thinks the last time he saw Nami look so utterly  _defeated_ was perhaps back at Arlong Park. Right now, he's desperate to help her cope the same way she's been helping him, but nothing he's saying seems to be working.

 _Sanji would be a lot better at dealing with emotional matters like these,_ Zoro grimaces hopelessly, _He’d make her a tea then give her a hug._

_He doesn’t swoon like an idiot when things are serious._

"It’s so much easier having the person you love right here with you." Nami mumbles weakly, "With Sanji, at least you can see him every day and protect him if you need to, even if you can't be with him the way you want to. I miss that."

Zoro stares down at his boots- he would have preferred her not bring his own predicament with the cook into this but she does have a point. Everything is so much more difficult over a long distance since there’s less communication. He’d rather know that the cook hates him and try to move on then not know how he feels at all. At least he can tell where he stands that way.

Zoro's gaze finds itself drawn to the desk drawer, and suddenly an idea that should have been obvious much earlier presents itself to him.

"If you wanna talk to her, then why don’t you send her that letter that you showed me?" He proposes, nudging his chin toward the desk, "You can send it next time we go to town. Then maybe you'll find some peace of mind."

It was clearly the wrong thing to say, because in a heartbeat Nami is fumbling to turn the key in the lock, and is ranting deliriously,

"Hell no! I don't know why I've even kept it, if I send that it’ll just make things more dangerous for her!" when she finally gets the drawer open, she gropes around clumsily for the letter, then storms right out of the library with it.

Panicking, Zoro chases right after her.

“Nami!” He calls out, but she ignores him and marches over to the Sunny’s railing.

Everyone is still in the galley having breakfast, so nobody sees her tear up the entire envelope in half, all four pages at once, then outright chuck the halves over the edge of the ship. She throws the crumpled ball that is Vivi's letter right after for good measure.

"Fucking _hell_." Zoro swears, then immediately tosses his swords on deck to jump overboard after it.

He’s too focused to hear the voices of their nakama spilling out of the galley to see what’s going on, but still, he’s too late. When he hits the water, everything is already thoroughly soggy, ink smudged beyond recognition by the sea.

 _She’ll just have to write Vivi another one,_ Zoro thinks as he scoops up a few sodden pieces in his hands.

When he climbs back on board, he finds the rest of their crewmates circled around the distraught navigator, barraging her with questions.

“Nami are you okay?”

“Where did Zoro go?”

"Did that stupid marimo do something to you?"

When Zoro heaves himself over the railing, they all turn their heads in an instant to look at him. He's soaked to the bone, but he’s got a few waterlogged fragments in his fist, though at this point they’re falling apart at the touch.

"I wasn't fast enough- they got ruined." he says to Nami, ignoring the others completely. "I'm sorry."

The navigator raises her hand to touch his drenched shoulder for a moment, then nods gravely. When Robin offers to walk her back to their cabin, she agrees, leaving Zoro on deck dripping wet with the letter pieces still in his hand.

"What the hell did you do, you bastard?" Sanji growls, immediately rounding on him after everyone else has dispersed.

"Nothing." Zoro hisses. He retrieves his swords then tosses the rejected soggy fragments over the edge of the ship.

"Oi- what were those?" the cook presses "And why were they bothering Nami-san so much?" 

"None of your damn business!"

Zoro is not in the mood to argue about it with Sanji one bit. He is sopping wet, and frankly disappointed in himself for his total failure at dealing with this situation.

_How the hell did everything go so wrong?_

Crestfallen, he tries to walk away from the cook, but Sanji just raises a long leg in front of him, like a bar, refusing to let him get past.

"If you hurt her in any way." he threatens severely, hands shaking with rage, "I'll make sure you pay for it twenty times over."

Zoro gives him a look like liquid poison. Any other day he’d make the blonde eat those words, secretly savouring the way his heart would pound with adrenaline when they fought- but right now he’s just not having it.

"Fuck. Off." he breathes hotly into Sanji's face, so close their noses nearly touch, "I'm not dealing with you right now."

"…fine," Sanji lowers his leg and steps away, letting him through.

“But I won’t forget about this.”

Zoro doesn’t grace him with a response, instead leaving him standing there as he climbs up to the crow's nest, intent on training his bristling mind into silence.

_I think I'll try for one tonne this time._

 

~~~

 

The quietude of the girl’s cabin is a welcome adjustment, and Nami finds herself relaxing as soon as she’s walked through the wooden doorframe. She's seated gently onto one of the small red armchairs, and Robin, ever intuitive, uses her ability to retrieve a glass of water from the galley and press it into her nakama’s hands. Nami didn’t even realize she was parched until the cool liquid touched her lips, and trickled refreshingly down her throat.

“Thanks, Robin.” She sighs, and the archaeologist just smiles pleasantly at her.

“Is there anything else I can get you?” Is all that she asks, and for that Nami is incredibly grateful.

“I think I’m alright now.”

When Robin nods, then turns around to leave Nami alone in the bedroom, a small hand shoots out to grab a fistful of her skirt.

“Stay.” Nami says, eyes pleading.

The older woman settles herself in the seat adjacent, and Nami is suddenly reminded of her sister Nojiko. Whenever the redhead would return to the village from one of her many heists as an Arlong pirate, her sister would always be waiting for her on the other side of their small cottage's door. Nojiko would set to boil a pot of citrus tea and ask her nothing, especially when Nami was more banged up than usual. They’d sit down at their kitchen table in complete silence, and with each sip of tea Nami would lose just a little bit of the tension in her shoulders.

She’d end up telling Nojiko everything by the time their mugs were dry.

She can feel the similarity right now, her shoulders are already significantly lighter, and the cool water has done it's work to her nerves.

Destroying the letters like that, she can admit to herself now that she overreacted. She should have kept Vivi's, at least, just so that Luffy and Chopper could have read it too.

_Poor Chopper is going to be so disappointed in me..._

“Cook-san has been acting strangely.” Robin says suddenly, startling Nami out of her regretful thoughts.

“What?”

_Sanji? Why would she bring up Sanji?_

“He backed down from a fight with swordsman-san.” Robin rubs her pointy chin thoughtfully, then adds, “This morning as well. He looked very displeased when swordsman-san had his hands on you, but he did nothing about it. It’s quite unusual.”

Nami's been so emotionally compromised these past few weeks that she didn’t even notice anything different in Sanji's behaviour, not that she was really looking out for it, but still. When you live with someone, especially when that someone coddles you at every minute of the day, it'd surely be obvious if they were acting a little differently. 

“That's weird, you’re right.” she agrees.

_It would make more sense if it were Zoro who was picking less fights, but Sanji?_

_Hm._  

“There was an incident,” the older woman continues, folding her hands together on the table in front of her, “On Thriller Bark, where cook-san was about to do something reckless, but then swordsman-san knocked him out and took his place. I wonder if that’s when it started.”

 _Huh? Zoro never told me anything about this,_ the navigator thinks, intrigued, _Was this before or after he realized his feelings for Sanji?_

“Did you see what happened?” Nami asks, because frankly, she’d be surprised if either Zoro or Sanji told Robin and not _her._

The archaeologist just gives her a devious, shrewd grin, and Nami wonders why she even asked.

“I did not, but there are no such things as secrets on a ship with me.” Robin says, her voice smooth yet dangerous, “Though some secrets are better to be kept until the right time.”

Alarmed, Nami's grip on her water glass tightens.

_No such thing as secrets?_

_Does that mean Robin knows about Zoro's thing for Sanji-_

_or that she knows about me?!_

Nami doesn't even need to ask- one look into archaeologist’s perceptive almond eyes and she has an answer.

Nico Robin knows a lot more than she ever lets on.

"Ne, Robin, is it just me or..." the redhead trails off, gaze fixed on the blurred reflection of her face at the bottom of her water glass, "Have things felt strange lately?"

"How so?" the older woman asks, intrigued.

"It's almost like.. we've been sailing a little too smoothly. And not in a physical sense." Nami says, tapping her nails absentmindedly against the glass, "I can't shake this nagging feeling that a storm is coming to shake us up." 

"Well, _navigator-san_ ," Robin hums thoughtfully, "If you think so, then it must be true. I trust your abilities."

Nami gives her a small smile, then lifts her wrist to look at her log pose. They still have a while before they reach the next island, so for now, she supposes there's nothing else she can do but her job. 

"I think I'm gonna go recheck that our course is on track." she declares, getting up from her seat, "Thanks again, Robin."

Her nakama returns the smile, "Make sure that storm doesn't sink our ship and drown us all."

"Of course not." Nami chuckles lightly, her hand on the door,

"What kind of a navigator would I be if I couldn't avoid a bit of rainy wind?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya! for storytelling purposes, news travels slowly on the grand line, especially to/from Alabasta, so if Vivi's comment about seeing their wanted posters in the papers seems a little delayed, that's because the amount of time it took for the news to reach her as well as the return letter to be sent to Nami needs to be taken into account.


	4. Ashore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a lot of fun to write!! enjoy ~

They couldn’t have made it to the next island soon enough. 

There’s been an underlying tension on the ship since the letter incident, lurking beneath the surface of the Sunny’s hull like a Sea King ready to flip everyone within it. It’s evident in the tense rivalry between the cook and the swordsman, evident in the navigator’s penchant to spend more time than usual pouring over her maps, and hell- it’s even evident in the musician's haunting melodies, the captain’s irritating restlessness, the doctor and the sniper’s constant shared whispers.

When they finally dock at Port Undertow, the place's summery weather and jovial atmosphere isn't short from paradise. Blossoming with palm trees and hibiscus flowers, a chance for everyone to stretch their legs in the small but bustling seaside town is exactly what the Strawhats needed.

With Franky having volunteered to keep first watch, the rest of the crew pours onto the beach delightedly.

"Land, ho!"

"The beach! The beach!"

"It's so good to see  _civilization_!"

Some of his nakama are taking off their shoes to feel the sand between their toes (and hooves), but more than anything, all that Zoro wants right now is a goddamn _bar_.

They've been out of alcohol on the ship for the last week or so. Well... that's what Sanji had barked at him every time he's bothered to ask. He had suspected for a while that maybe the cook was keeping his own secret stash hidden at the back of some forgotten cupboard, so one night when his cravings (and heartache) had gotten the best of him, Zoro let himself into the galley to search. To his disappointment, he found nothing but a half empty bottle of cooking sake; either Sanji was good at hiding things, or there really was none left and he had been telling the truth.

(And of course the cook had noticed that someone had snooped around in his kitchen the next morning. He was furious, and immediately accused Luffy, who denied it, but since the rubber glutton pulls that shit all the time Sanji didn't seem to buy it.  

He eventually let it go when he saw that nothing was broken or taken, and for the same reason, Zoro didn't really see a need to fess up.)

It's strange- a part of Zoro would have jumped at the opportunity to fight with Sanji, because nothing pissed the cook off more than people messing with his kitchen and Zoro knew this, but another part of him recoiled at the prospect of Sanji thinking less of him, even though he also already knew that Sanji despised him anyways so not much damage could have even been done.

 _Whatever,_ Zoro thinks, returning to the present, _time to find a bar and forget about all this._

Breathing in the fresh beachy air, he's made his way to the boardwalk nearby when a voice calls out to him.

“Zoro!”

The swordsman turns around, and unexpectedly, sees Nami trudging across the sand to catch up.

Everyone else seems to have already gone somewhere; god knows where the boys have run off to, where Sanji, Robin, and Brook have probably headed to town.

 _Damn, I probably would’ve gotten to the bar quicker if I followed them,_ he realizes.

“Hey, are you busy?” Nami asks him when she finally makes it to the boardwalk.  

“Uh, well...” He replies as she dusts sand off of her feet and puts her sandals back on.

This is the first real conversation he and Nami have had in _days_. He had thought that giving the navigator her space was what she had wanted, especially since she hadn’t approached him after the letter incident either. Zoro knows he didn't actually do anything wrong that day, but he also didn’t do anything _right._

After all, it wasn't him but _Robin_ who got Nami to calm down afterwards.

Looking at her now however, the redhead seems completely fine. She’s got that signature cat-like grin on her face, and the insecure demeanour from a few days ago has been completely replaced by one of her usual sly confidence.

Zoro _knows_ though- that there’s no way she still isn’t screaming inside, not after what he had read in that first letter, or what she had confessed in the library. Nami's just always been pretty adept at hiding her weaknesses.

 _She’s like Sanji, in a way,_ Zoro thinks, _Always maintaining his cool in the toughest of situations; putting on a self-assured mask so that the rest of the crew won’t worry over the insecurity underneath…_

_Dammit, why does my mind always wander back to the stupid cook?!_

“I’m not busy.” he says to Nami, forcibly ripping his thoughts away from the blonde. “What’s up?”

The navigator jabs her finger in the direction of the town ahead.

“Wanna go get smashed? I’ll treat you.” she asks him, and Zoro thinks those two sentences may be his favourite two sentences in the world.

“ _Fuck_ yes.”

_I love this place already._

 

~~~

 

Port Undertow isn’t large- nothing like Loguetown or Water 7, but the navigator and the swordsman find a small, cozy bar nestled between a florist and a grocer a little farther out from where the town meets the boardwalk.

It's around six in the evening so the place isn't as busy as it probably will be, but still- when Nami enters first through the double doors Zoro is unsurprised to see that every greasy old man and in-over-their-head pirate there immediately has their eyes on her. The cropped halter top that exposes her navel as well as her skin-tight jean shorts don’t really help the situation, so Zoro just glares at anyone who’s gaze travels lower than it should, and holds himself a little closer to her as they claim two seats at the bar.

He knows Nami can hold her own (oh, he _knows_ ), but he does it moreso to avoid anyone messing with their good moods than for protection. The last thing he needs is some thirsty asshole getting them kicked out.

“What do you want to drink?” Nami asks Zoro after calling over the bartender.

The swordsman just shrugs, “Whatever.”

“We’ll have rum, then.” She tells the bartender- a strawberry blonde, heavily pierced woman with an insane amount of eyeliner on.

The rum is poured and placed in front of them, and Zoro doesn't think he's ever smelled something so good in his life.

 _Finally,_ he thinks, licking his lips in anticipation.

Before he can take a sip, though, Nami holds out her glass and suggests to him,

“Hey, let’s do a linked-arm toast.”

Pirates often toast this way when they welcome new nakama into their crew. It’s understood among crewmates as a mark of friendship, as well as a sign of respect.

“Sure.” he says.

Smirking, Zoro hooks his arm around her thinner, tattooed one. 

“To us.” he declares.

“We’ll be alright.” She agrees.

They both swallow down the bronze liquid with one greedy gulp. Zoro sighs deeply, feeling thoroughly content, then detangles his arm from Nami’s. 

"I needed that." 

"Me too." she concedes, wiping the side of her mouth with the back of her hand.

"So, uh... how many berries do you have on you?" he asks cautiously, "Enough for a few rounds?"

"About 1,000." she tells him, "Definitely enough to get us wasted."

"So more than just a _few_ rounds then." Zoro grins cheekily at her, "Who knew you could be so generous?"

Nami sticks her tongue out at him before signalling the bartender over to pour them another glass, and to keep them coming.

"Enjoy it, because it doesn't happen often."

"Hey, if there's booze I'm happy." he contends, graciously accepting his refill.

Zoro decides after their first six that Nami is probably the best drinking buddy he could have ever hoped for. They match each other glass for glass, and by the time evening has turned to night, they’re both feeling loose and happy, and chatting comfortably about everything and anything.

(The best part is that Zoro hasn’t thought about Sanji once since they sat down).

Their amicable conversation somehow turns to the stories of their pasts. Nami tells Zoro about her days as an Arlong pirate, including some of her great and not-so-great heists, and then Zoro finds himself sharing his story too, telling her all about Shimotsuki and his 2001 duels with Kuina.

A few drinks later he learns about Bellemere’s murder, and she about Kuina’s lethal fall. When Zoro reveals that he had left Shimotsuki to challenge Mihawk and fulfill both of their dreams of being the best, it hurts a lot less being said aloud then he had expected.

_Maybe being able to talk about it freely is a sign that I’ve grown stronger._

“Wait a minute,” Nami balks incredulously, slamming her glass down on the counter, “You only became a bounty hunter because you couldn’t find your way back to Shimotsuki?”

“Yeah.” Zoro shrugs. “I had to feed myself somehow.”

“So what you’re telling me… is that you were lost before Luffy met you. That you’ve been lost this  _entire time._ ”

Embarrassed, but in too good of a mood to care, Zoro relinquishes her a sheepish, “I guess so.”

His nakama doesn’t even try to hold it back, soon enough she’s laughing so hard she needs to clutch at her stomach, nearly falling off of her stool. Zoro can’t help but let a few chuckles escape him too.

 _Maybe the best way to cheer up Nami is actually with embarrassing stories and an unlimited supply of alcohol_ , he realizes, feeling accomplished.

The bartender regards her loud patrons with an amused expression, and Zoro vaguely notices her turn around to pluck an opaque black bottle off of the shelf.

When Nami has simmered down a bit, the bartender places the black bottle on the counter between her and Zoro, then says,

“Wanna try our local brew? You fellas look like you’d appreciate some good grog.” The two Strawhats exchange vacant looks before she adds, “Stuff’s so strong it could strip paint offa’ ship.”

“Hit me.” Nami immediately declares, holding out her empty glass. The bartender smiles when Zoro readily follows suit.

It turns out the bottle is actually clear- it’s the liquid itself that’s black. He and Nami clink their glasses together then down the stuff in unison. And the bartender was absolutely right, the drink is so potent that it probably _could_ strip paint off of a ship.

“Ne, Zoro.” Nami nudges him roughly in the ribs, “How about a little drinking contest?”

Zoro flashes back to the memory of the first time he saw Nami drink- way back when they had first entered the Grand Line and spent the night on Whiskey Peak. He was impressed that someone so small could not only keep up with but _best_ several men twice her size.

Zoro’s feeling great tonight though. He’s completely on board with getting flat out wasted, so why the hell not accept her challenge? Even if he loses, at least he’ll be more drunk.

“On one condition though.” He decides, and Nami raises an eyebrow at him.

“If I win, you have to write a reply to Vivi, and send it before we leave this island.”

She doesn’t seem angry about his suggestion; in fact, he can almost see the gears turning in her head, deciding on the best way to exploit him in his offer- as if she's already sure she'll win anyways.

“If you _lose_ ,” she says, expression intimidatingly audacious, “You have to do all of my chores for the next three months.”

Zoro’s jaw tightens. The wager is glaringly unfair, but this is _Nami_ he’s bargaining with, queen of cunning and manipulation, so it’s the best he’ll get, probably.

What good is a competition without stakes, after all? If this is the only chance he’ll get to make her communicate with Vivi, he’s gonna take it. Besides, he doesn’t mind doing chores anyways.

 _Except dishes,_ he shudders.

Confident, she holds out a slim hand between them, and Zoro’s grip is firm when he grabs it and shakes.

“First one to puke, pass out, or give up loses.” Nami says.

“Deal.”

“Barkeep!” she shouts to the bartender, “Another round of that black stuff please!”

 

~~~

 

The sun has long since set, and with it the rest of the crew has gone off to sleep.

Sanji has been pacing back and forth on deck for the past two hours, swimming neck-deep in his worry, and forcibly stopping himself from storming into town to look for her.

_Nami-san should’ve been back by now._

Not just Nami, but Zoro too has been missing since this afternoon when they first docked at Port Undertow.

Frustrated, he rubs his temples roughly with his hands, effectively messing up his hair.

_Are they together again? What’s taking them so long?_

_Even with his shit sense of direction, the marimo still usually finds his way back before sunset._

Sanji lights what might be his thirtieth smoke of the evening.

_But Nami?_

_What could they be doing so late..?_

Realization strikes him, and the cook all but chokes on his cigarette- the blood beneath his skin running ice cold.

_Oh god, are they…_

_Are they spending the night?_

He suddenly needs to kick something, kick anything- he’s got his leg slung back against a nearby crate of cannon balls when he hears laughter from the beach below.

Sanji nearly trips in his haste over to the side of the ship, where he peers down over the railing to see the two familiar figures approaching from the boardwalk. He’s both relieved and not relieved at all, because when his nakama climb aboard he discovers them both to be absolutely _plastered_ , and Nami has for some reason got Zoro’s bandana tied around her head.

“On th’ next island,” She's slurring, her arm slung around the swordsman’s shoulders, “Come shopping w' me, y' need new clothes.”

Zoro grumbles, “Jus' ‘cause I lost doesn’ mean I have t’ be your pack mule- ah.”

His words fall short when he notices the cook standing with his arms crossed on deck, expression absolutely murderous.

“Where were you?” Sanji demands, mostly (entirely) to Zoro, “You were supposed to be back for watch three hours ago.”

“Was w’ me” Nami answers instead, “Puked all over th' counter- got ‘is ass handed to ‘im.”

“Did not.” Zoro warbles, and Sanji doesn’t think he’s ever seen either of them this drunk before; they’re barely able to stand.

“Did too.”

The swordsman huffs, “Well ‘m jus’ gonna win next time then.”

“Heh, you can try.” Nami snorts, then finally detaches herself from him, “I’m gonna... get a glass of water. Yeah."

“Nami-san, let me,” Sanji insists, but the navigator just holds up a hand and shakes her head.

“I got it, Sanji-kun. G'night.”

Indignant, Sanji turns back to face Zoro, ready to all but erupt at him, but when he does he sees Zoro regarding him again like that time during breakfast a week ago, bewildered and glassy-eyed.

“What the ever-loving fuck are you gawking at?” he snaps.

But Sanji freezes up with shock when Zoro raises a hand and touches a stray piece of his hair, which is still slightly mussed up from earlier. The swordsman’s fingers slide to his jaw, hard (but not rough) skin crossing over the bone of his cheek, and the feeling elicits a memory of the recent past:

Standing tall in front of a Warlord, Sanji was fearful but ready to die for the sake of his nakama when suddenly he was struck in the ribs by the hilt of a white sword. His knees had buckled beneath him, hand catching onto a familiar broad shoulder to keep from falling but the blow was too much, and as intended, Sanji had crumpled. Before he blacked out completely however, he registered the feeling of the same hard but not rough skin slipping through his grasp.

Fingers slide over the bridge of his nose, but Sanji can't bring himself to move.

"Zoro..."

When they slip underneath the curtain of his fringe, Sanji realizes suddenly that Zoro is about to reveal the eye that he keeps hidden. He tries to protest, but he thinks his heart may be caught in his throat, and that the moment he opens his mouth he might just throw it up all over the deck.

But then, mercifully, Zoro drops his hand.

“Fluffy.” the swordsmansays instead. And yes, Sanji cannot describe the proceeding noise that comes out of the man’s mouth as anything other than a _giggle_.

_This is so fucked up._

“Y-Y-You-!” the cook stammers, rushing to pat down his hair back to normal, “What the _fuck_ are you doing?!”

His pulse is pounding like a drum, and Zoro is still giving him that _look_ , unwavering and loaded. With every second that ticks by, Sanji feels more and more like it’s eroding him away, layer by layer, particle by particle.  

Soon enough there will be nothing left but the soles of his shoes- he can’t take this anymore.

Sanji spins around on his heel and all but flees to galley.


	5. Stirrings

Breathing heavily, Sanji slams the wooden door behind him, opting to press his back against it and light himself yet another much needed cigarette. His hands shake uncontrollably so it takes a few tries, but when he gets it going the nicotine that fills his lungs feels (quite ironically) like a breath of fresh air. 

_What the actual shit just happened?_

He takes a greedy puff, palms sweaty, mind still reeling.

_and why the hell am I freaking out so much?_

“Sanji-kun?”

Blue eyes dart upwards, and he remembers now that Nami came in here for some water right before… whatever the fuck that was. 

“Nami-san,” He sighs, relieved to see her.

He tries not to wonder why her godly beauty, even while inebriated, doesn’t instantly wash away the unsettling thoughts about the marimo that are still lingering in his brain. 

Maybe it's because she still has his stupid bandana tied around her head.

“Y' alrigh', Sanji-kun?” Nami asks, her own voice still rather slurred.

“I should be asking _you_ that.” The cook replies, moving automatically to refill her water glass, “Does your head hurt? Do you want me to make you a soup or something? Or toast with mikan jam? I'll whip up some fresh jam right now-”

“No, no. M’ fine.” She shakes her head, "S' late anyways."

Sanji watches wearily as the redheaded navigator chugs back the rest of her water, then slams the glass down by the sink.

"Are you sure you're okay, Nami-san?" he finds himself reaffirming, his paranoia getting the best of him, "I can wake Chopper if you need me to."

"No, m' good. Thanks Sanji-kun." she tells him, a jaded grin ghosting upon her lips, "M’ gonna go t' bed.”

Nami yawns and scratches her head, causing her hand to brush up against the bandana in her hair. 

She looks a bit like her sister wearing it like that, he notices.

“Oh! Zoro’s bandana!” she realizes, reaching up to untie it from her head, “Sanji-kun, give it back t' him for me?”

Sanji barely stops his mouth from unleashing a stream of the most vile curses he knows in front of the navigator. She's holding the bandana out to him, chocolatey eyes sleepy but pleading, and _dammit all how am I supposed to deny a request from such a beautiful creature?!_

“I… sure.” he contends, taking the stupid thing and tucking it into his pocket.

“Thanks again.” Sanji's eyes grow wide when she pats him lightly on the shoulder and says in a clear, steady voice, "You're overwhelming sometimes but you're a good guy."

Not giving him a chance to respond, she salutes him goodnight before exiting the galley.

Sanji doesn't see the conniving smile that spreads across her face when the door clicks shut and he's left standing there alone; a certain marimo's favourite accessory dangling out of his pocket.

Too exhausted to even be angry properly anymore, Sanji decides to finish off the rest of his cigarette and retreat to the cabins himself.

 

~~~

 

The next morning, Zoro wakes up looking and feeling absolutely wretched. His brain all but rattles around inside of his skull when he tries to sit up, and he’s certain that his stomach will eject through his throat if he stands.

“Aughhg... Chop...” He grumbles, eyeing the reindeer who's still asleep in his hammock, “Chopper...”

“Oi, you okay?” Usopp whispers from beside him. The sharpshooter is already awake- just tugging on his boots before presumably heading over to the galley for breakfast.

“Somethings wrong with my head.” Zoro croaks, pressing his palms to his temples, willing what’s between them to just disappear. “I might be dying.”

“Shit, Chopper!” Usopp repeatedly pokes (and nearly impales) the reindeer who’s snoozing above him right through the holes of the hammock, “Chopper, wake up!”

“Ehh?” The doctor yawns, rubbing at his eyes with shiny hooves, “Is it morning already?” 

Zoro groans again, and immediately upon hearing the noise the little doctor is on his feet and hovering over the swordsman’s hammock. 

“Zoro! What’s the matter? Are you seeing double? Is your hearing okay? Do you feel cold anywhere?”

“Oh god, don’t die, Zoro!” Usopp yelps, helping Chopper heave the heavy man up. “You’re shaking all over!” 

“My head....” Zoro warbles as the reindeer and sharpshooter help him walk over to the medbay, “I'm having a brain aneurysm.” 

“Holy shit! Isn't that bad?” Usopp asks frantically, but the doctor shakes his head, 

“You wouldn't feel it, Zoro.” he says, sitting the swordsman down on the cot once they enter the cozy little room. "Or you'd be unconscious."

 _Unconsciousness_ _sounds nice right now,_ Zoro thinks bitterly.

Chopper thanks Usopp for the help, then tells him to go ahead and get some breakfast, and that Zoro will be fine. Worriedly, the sharpshooter leaves with a promise to protect both of their meals from Luffy's greedy mouth.

“Do you feel drowsy? Dizzy? Nauseous?” Chopper asks Zoro, who’s leaning his forehead against his hands, elbows propped up on his knees.

“Mhm.” the swordsman replies as the little doctor fiddles around inside of his pill cabinet.

“Did you drink anything last night?”

“Ughh,” Zoro recalls his and Nami’s competition at the bar yesterday, and the thought makes him want to heave, “Yeah.”

"Are you still taking those painkillers I gave you when you were hurt at Thriller Bark?" 

"No... I finished those a while ago." 

Chopper finally finds the container he’s looking for. He pops out two small white tablets and hands them to the swordsman. "Take these, they'll help. You’re just hungover.” 

“Hungover? But I never get hungover-” Zoro argues as Chopper pours him a glass of water from the tiny sink built into the counter, “This is something else, something way worse.”

“Nope, you’re definitely hungover.” the reindeer presses the glass into Zoro’s other hand, “It's unusual though- I’ve seen you drink barrels worth and feel fine the next morning. Did you mix a lot? Or maybe try something strange?”

Zoro knocks back the pills and the water, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I think so.” he squeezes his eyes shut.

He remembers rum, yes.. and also some weird black stuff. But it’s kind of hazy.

“There was this home-brewed grog." he says, "It was... strong.”

“Eh? How much did you have?”

The swordsman shrugs. “I’unno. Didn’t keep count.”

“I know you’ve been deprived this past week, but still!” Chopper huffs, then crosses his furry arms in annoyance. “Don’t overdo it, and don’t drink anything that looks funny! It’s dangerous, Zoro! Not to mention that you _just_ recovered from your other injuries a few weeks ago!”

“Fine, fine. I'll be careful.” the other grumbles, stomach still turning menacingly. He hopes the pills kick in soon.

“Nami drank it first though.” he adds petulantly. 

“Nami?” Chopper repeats, “Nami was with you?”

“Uh, yeah.” He says, scratching his head, “Nami! Oh shit-”

The swordsman and the doctor both startle when the medbay door is slammed open, and in comes a _very_ indisposed looking navigator.

Zoro's stomach decides that it hates sudden movements the moment Nami bursts through the door, so the next thing any of them know, he's retching violently onto her sandals.

"I expect triple what I payed for those plus interest." she says tightly.

Both Zoro and Chopper let out a sigh. 

"I'll go find those pills again."

 

~~~

 

Zoro’s bandana is a deadweight in his pocket, and when Chopper comes into the galley that morning and announces that Zoro and Nami are both too sick to come down for breakfast, Sanji thinks he might just fall right through the Sunny’s floorboards.

“Are they gonna be ok?” Luffy asks, a slice of ham dangling precariously from his mouth.

“Yeah, they’ll be fine after a bit more sleep.” The reindeer says, sitting down at the table and helping himself to a fresh cranberry scone, “They’re just really hungover.”

_Hungover, huh_

Sanji grits his teeth, recalling the events of last night.

_Still doesn’t explain why the marimo was acting so weird._

_It doesn’t explain shit._

Before he knows it, Sanji is brooding so much that breakfast flies right by, and when he looks up he realizes suddenly that he and Robin are the only two people left in the galley.

Robin is using her devil fruit ability to put away the dishes from breakfast, which are somehow already clean and dry. He also can't help but notice that she looks like an exquisite goddess in her long white sundress and floppy brown hat.

_A woman so ethereal is far too divine to be stuck putting away dishes._

“Robin-chan! You didn’t need to do all that!” Sanji protests as she places one last mug in the cupboard. “I’m sorry, I spaced out a little. I never would have made you-”

“I don’t mind.” she replies, shutting the door softly, “Everyone was very eager to go back into town.”

“Just let me know next time.” Sanji sighs, even though he knows she won’t he feels the need to say it anyways.

“Oh right, that reminds me.” He says, scratching the scruff of his beard, “I need to restock the alcohol cupboard before we leave.”

“Are you going shopping, cook-san?” Robin inquires.

“I really should.” Sanji nods, then proceeds to light up a cigarette. He’s on his last pack, so he’ll have to buy more of those too. “Nami-san won’t need to spend her nights in shabby bars with directionless marimos if I've got every drink she could ever want right here in this kitchen.”

“Hm, would you like some company?” Robin asks him, ignoring that last part.

Sanji nearly swallows his cigarette.

“I-I’d be honoured!”

 

~~~

 

With Chopper, Zoro, and Nami left behind on the Sunny, everyone else has taken the opportunity to venture off on their own again. Sanji and Robin head into town with a rather short list of supplies since Sanji already did most of his grocery shopping yesterday.

Their walk to the market is, for the most part, quite silent. Robin makes a comment about the passing scenery every now and then, but even Sanji is too distracted to keep up substantial conversation. There are so many questions swirling around inside of his head, so many things that have happened as of recent that he can’t quite understand.

_Why did Zoro jump overboard that one time?_

_What’s going on between him and Nami?_

_And why the hell was he acting so weird with me last night?_

Overall, he can’t shake the feeling that lately, particularly since Zoro had recovered from the injuries he got at Thriller Bark, the atmosphere on board the Thousand Sunny has seemed a little off.

 _Stupid marimo_ , Sanji's fists tighten into balls at his sides, _Thinking he can just knock people out for the hell of it. That_ he's _the only one who can make sacrifices-_

“What seems to be the matter, cook-san?” Robin asks him pleasantly, “You appear to be more on edge than usual.”

“Nothing to worry about, Robin-chan.” the cook says defensively, shoving his hands into his pockets. He jolts when he feels an unusual material in one of them, and when he glances down, he realizes that part of Zoro’s bandana is sticking out.

When he had entered the boy's cabin last night he was so tired he had forgotten entirely about giving it back. Scowling, he crams it into his pocket completely, and Robin thankfully doesn’t ask him why he even has it.

"....."

She and Sanji fall into quietude again; nothing but the clicking of their heels on the cobblestone and the background bustle of the town filling the air.

Sanji can't stop thinking though, can't stop _worrying_ , and he hates it. He hates that it bothers him so much, as if the relationship between the navigator and the swordsman is any of his business.

Eventually, he blurts out,

“Do you think something is going on between Nami and Zoro?”

Robin, though, just straightens her hat and hums thoughtfully,

“Oh? What kind of something?”

“Like… I don't know. _Something_.” Sanji says, regretting even asking the question, “They've been really close lately… yesterday they even went to a bar together. It’s just weird because they used to argue all the time and now they seem to get along well.”

“I suppose they _have_ been getting on well.” the archaeologist agrees. She turns her head to look Sanji in the eye before adding, “Perhaps they just finally realized they had a lot in common, and decided to put aside their differences.”

There's something suggestive in her tone, and Sanji doesn't know what to make of it. 

_Putting aside their differences..._

"But they don't have that much in common." he argues, and Robin raises a thin eyebrow at him.

"Now, how would you know that, cook-san?"

"I live with them, I know how they are." Sanji tells her pointedly. "Or, well, how they _were_."

"But does living with someone really equate to _knowing_ them?" Robin looks down at her own hands which are wrapped around a paper bag filled with wine she insisted on helping him carry back to the ship.

"If not the people we live with, those we call our nakama, then who _do_ we know?" the cook asks her with genuine curiosity.

"I can't say... however," the archaeologist meets his gaze once more, "I do know that I'm learning new things about our nakama each day we spend together at sea. And they too, are learning more and more about me and each other. That includes both you and I, as well as Nami and Zoro." 

"Huh." Sanji murmurs, not disagreeing but needing more time to process what she's said. He decides to light himself a cigarette.

“Maybe.” he adds tersely (but not rudely, of course).

Robin grins at him.

“It's possible that what you're feeling means that you'd like to learn more about the two of them as well."

"You think I'm jealous?" Sanji concludes, instantly getting defensive, “Robin-chan, I assure you- I’ll never be jealous of a marimo!”

But the archaeologist's grin stretches wider.

“Perhaps it's not swordsman-san you're jealous of.”

The cook’s jaw drops, causing the cigarette to fall right out of his mouth. Robin catches it by sprouting an arm from Sanji's chest, but her firm gaze remains scrutinizing. It's like she's seeing right through him- as if there was even something hidden to see through to (like something in his pocket)...

Flustered, Sanji just sputters in protest,

“W-What? Why would I be-? Of Nami? That doesn’t-?”

_Is she insinuating…?_

“It was just a thought.” She says, and Sanji’s hands are shaking for some reason, so she gently places the cigarette back home between his lips,

“Shall we continue our shopping?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bully sanji a lot but you can't say he doesn't deserve it :^)
> 
> im gray-terminal on tumblr if you wanna chat or need more OP on your dash!!


	6. Absolution

Roronoa Zoro cannot pinpoint the exact moment he had fallen for Blackleg Sanji, but what he _can_ certainly tell you is when he realized he had been all this time... and that moment had occurred when the man in question stood tall in front of the Warlord Bartolomew Kuma about to give himself up for the crew, hesitation be damned.

Zoro _knew-_ right then and there, that the welfare of their nakama, losing his own life... none of that had scared him more than having the cook cut out of it.

 _But he's so much more than just the cook,_ the swordsman's enamoured heart argues.

He's the soul of the ship- the glue between the cracks that keeps them all together. When everyone is feeling down in the dumps, Sanji is always there with a cheeky smile and a tray piled to the sky with something chocolatey and mouthwatering. He tells things how it is, not taking anyone's shit, not Luffys nor his, and he makes decisions with a swift tactfulness when nobody else is able to (not even Nami).

Sanji is so different from Zoro, who has for his entire life acted entirely on instinct; his gut feeling and intuition have done him well enough over the years if they've lead him to where he is now.

Even on _that day_ , Zoro's body had acted on its own like always- thought free and impulsive, but this time his erupting emotions had given him a directional push, because what else was he to do but take Sanji’s place? 

(Zoro realized later that he had risked his dream for _Sanji,_ risked _Kuina’s_ legacy for Sanji. And the troubling thing is, he’d do it again. And again. And again.)

Physically and emotionally exhausted, the swordsman exhales a lungful of air he hadn't known he's been holding.

_Why do I feel so lost when it comes to him?_

Dubbed too inebriated after yesterday's events, Zoro had instead been assigned to watch duty tonight. He's decided to use the time to give his swords some maintenance.

Though now in debt for ruining a pair of Nami's sandals, Zoro can say he's been feeling a lot better physically than he has in a long while; Chopper’s medicine really is the best.

Not to say that Zoro hasn't done watch sloshed before, but there's always a higher chance of marines or looters when they're docked.

Zoro glances up from where he had been polishing Wadou in his lap to gaze through the glass at the silhouetted skyline of Port Undertow. The night is still young, the rest of the crew have gone indoors, to sleep or whatnot, but even so the windows of the seaside homes in the distance remain brightly lit- their reflections glittering on the rolling waves like illuminated crystals.

He suddenly hears the sound of hinges- a door being swung open- and when he looks down below he spots who else but Sanji on deck. He appears to be muttering something to himself as he goes to stand by the railing and stare at the darkened horizon.

He gets lost in it sometimes, Zoro has noticed. Sanji will stare out into the ocean for minutes, unblinking, as if it’s very vastness has captured his attention like a fish to a net. Sometimes the cigarette between his lips will burn down to nothingness or fall right out of his mouth and into the water below. Other times he will forget to even light it. Zoro wonders what he thinks about in these strange moments, if he even thinks at all.

Still shamelessly watching the cook, Zoro sees that Sanji has something clenched within his fist. It’s hard to make out in the darkness, but when Sanji finishes his cigarette and heads into the boys cabins directly below it’s easier to distinguish.

In his grip is a black cloth of sorts, and the moonlight reflecting upon it gives off a greenish tint.

 _Is that…?_

Zoro wonders disbelievingly, but when he places the _uchiko_ ball he had been cleaning with onto the floor to reach out and feel for the bandana he usually keeps tied to his bicep, there’s nothing but bare skin there. He bites his lip, utterly dumbfounded as to why someone who despises him with the passion of a thousand suns would even steal one of his possessions.

_Steal?_

_Hm, actually... I doubt that he stole it._

_Not only would I have caught him, but he would never give up an excuse to fight by taking it in secret._

The swordsman furrows his brows in thought, his grip around Wadou tightening. 

_So where did he get it?_

He tries to recall the last moment he had seen his bandana. He knew he had it when he went to the bar with Nami last night. Wracking his brain, he remembers the navigator slipping it off his arm and tying it around her head after she won their drinking competition declaring that it was her victory crown or something.

_Still, that doesn’t explain why Sanji has it._

_I wonder if Nami left it in the galley and he picked it up._

"Hmm", Zoro hums, picking up his _uchiko_ ball once more to begin working on Kitetsu.

He taps it carefully against the blade, the fine powder within dispersing over it's length.

_Well, I’m not gonna go ask for it back._

_He’ll know I was watching him and get pissed._

An expectant grin spreads across the swordsman’s face.

 _Guess I’m just gonna have to wait for the bastard to return it himself_. 

 

~~~

 

Nami had won that bet against Zoro fair and square. She's always had an uncharacteristically high tolerance for alcohol in proportion to her body size, and yet somehow... for some unknown reason, she feels as if she's cheated.  

Her hand gravitates to her wrist, as it often does when she's anxious. There isn't a black X there anymore, but the fact that there once had been a mark on that very spot which connected her to not just Vivi but the rest of her nakama provides her with more comfort than it reasonably should.

Her nakama are right in the next room, after all. She can practically hear Usopp's snores from the darkened library.

Vivi, though... she's oceans away. Islands and islands and islands in the distance. 

Nami sighs. She lets her head fall backwards on her desk chair, fiery curls cascading over its backboard. 

She remembers a time when she had been ill, a sickness more serious than she'd ever experienced in her life. And as she lay trembling in bed, holding her hand was Vivi's less calloused one, encouraging her through the deadly virus with infinite patience, _demanding_ that they dock to find Nami a doctor, even when there was a civil war waiting to be stopped in Alabasta.

She had _fallen_ , head-over-heels on that snowy day. And she just... misses Vivi so much. Maybe more than anyone, save for Bellemere, but the nature of _that_ relationship was entirely different.

_Vivi..._

She sighs, then recalls with fondness the princess' boundlessly kind heart- that contagious selflessness Nami could only admire from the confines of her head, something she herself, a cat burglar _and_ a pirate, could never genuinely replicate.

Nami closes her eyes, and thinks of a cerulean-haired princess standing alone in the middle of a desert, precious tears dripping down the lovely planes of her face, advocating for love and  _peace-_ all while an entire army of rebels charged full force towards her...

Nami wants to be brave like that. Like Vivi, and like the rest of her crew too: Luffy, Sanji, even Usopp, and of course, _Zoro_.

She wishes she could be more like all of them. 

_Maybe... there's a way that I can._

Tired chestnut eyes flicker to an empty piece of parchment atop a stack of maps at the corner of her desk, and she recalls the stakes Zoro had bet three months of chores on:

_"If I win, you have to write a reply to Vivi, and send it before we leave this island."_

Before she loses her nerve, she snatches up the nearest quill and begins to write.

 

~~~

 

 “Oi Zoro."

It's tentative, but the swordsman is startled by the sound of an unexpected voice.

"Can we talk?" Sanji asks him from the entrance to the crow's nest. Zoro is sitting cross-legged in front of the window, his three swords on the floor beside him, gleaming in the moonlight.

“I'm not _marimo_ today?” Zoro retorts, "What did I do to be so deserving?”

Zoro had been in a weirdly good mood since he went out with Nami, Sanji has noticed. That's why he's deemed this evening a great time for a conversation between the two of them that's been long overdue.

“Not raiding my cupboards for alcohol, that’s for sure.” he snips mildly. Zoro's smirk falters, and Sanji leans himself against the cold glass of the window. “I know it was you, nobody else would have drank a year-old bottle of cooking sake.”

He sounds accusatory in his words, and he regrets it immediately.

_Shit, I'm not supposed to be pissing him off- Not this time-_

"If you want something to drink let me know and I'll get it for you, okay?" Sanji adds, "Just don't mess around in my kitchen." 

“Fine. But if I’m not mistaken you have something of mine too.” Zoro replies, looking pointedly at Sanji's pocket.

"What? Oh," Sanji balks, remembering the bandana. “Here.” he fumbles to fish it out and holds it out to the swordsman like a peace offering, but is given a suspicious look in return.

“Nami told me to give it back to you two nights ago.” he says defensively. “But I fell asleep and forgot I had it.”

Zoro raises an eyebrow “Really.”

“Yes?"

"Uh-huh."

"Are suggesting that I'm lying?" Sanji grits his teeth.

_This is really not how I wanted this conversation to go._

“No.... I'm not." Zoro tentatively accepts the bandana and returns it to it's home on his bicep. "Thanks, I was looking for it.”

Baffled by Zoro's weird passiveness, the cook just nods, then leans back against the window and lights himself a cigarette, because he knows he's gonna need one for this next part.

“I didn't come here just to give that back.” he admits, feeling hesitant, "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

He glances back at the swordsman and is surprised to see that his expression has gone completely blank, as if he were anticipating or even dreading the upcoming conversation. 

_But that's not possible, right?_

Sanji takes a long drag, relishing in the calm that the nicotine gives him, then continues,

“I’ve been thinking... I owe you an apology, Zoro. I know it’s been a few weeks, but it’s been sitting in the back of my mind and I.. I'm sorry. For being pissed at you about what happened on Thriller Bark."

Zoro is now staring at him like he's grown a third eye, but still the cook goes on,

"After thinking about it some more, I realized you were right- I never would have survived that attack from Kuma so you... actually saved my life. So, uh, for that... thank you."

An image of Zeff floats to the surface of Sanji's mind. It sinks downwards pleasantly, warming his belly. The space it left is replaced by Robin in her sun hat, walking beside him and sharing with him some undoubtedly hard-earned wisdom he too should've been more grateful for.

_What was it she said to me?_

“I think it would be nice if we tried to put our differences aside. Just a little bit, because in the end... we do have a lot in common."

The words feel right coming out of his mouth. They feel _genuine_ , and he just knows that Zeff and Robin would be pleased if they'd been here. 

_Actually, Robin very much could be._

He glances around the room for a stray eye or ear, but finds nothing, which doesn't mean anything of course, but it's still comforting.

"I... wasn't expecting this.” Zoro finally admits. He lets out a slightly incredulous sigh.

“What were you expecting, then?” Sanji asks cautiously. He's not sure why but his heart is racing in his chest similarly to when it had that day Zoro came home drunk and touched his hair. 

“I dunno. Your usual shit: blaming me for something I didn't do, nagging at me to treat the girls better, something like that." 

“Heh, well sorry to disappoint.” the cook huffs petulantly.

_Well, I said what I needed to._

_No point in staying up here any longer if he's not gonna forgive me._

Sanji is up and ready to leave, to abort whatever attempt at a _moment_ he was trying to make, when Zoro says, 

"I'm not disappointed. It's the opposite- I'm happy." 

He looks back and the swordsman meets his eyes. Zoro smiles then, bright and genuine, and Sanji is completely taken aback at being on the receiving end of it.

 _Woah_.

"Thanks for apologizing. And you're welcome." the swordsman's voice is deep and heady. Sanji swallows, then nods curtly, unsure of what else to do. He finds he wants to stay, for some reason he doesn't understand.  

"Hey cook?"

"... yeah?"

"You said I should ask you if I wanted something to drink." Zoro reminds him.

"I did yes."

"This is me asking." There's an amused flash to the swordsman's eyes, and Sanji lets out in a huff, 

"A 'please' would have been nice."

He finds himself arranging two sake cups on a tray anyways. 

 

~~~ 

 

They end up both sitting on the floor, cups in hand, with a few sake bottles between them. Sanji is surprised at how easy conversation is with Zoro when they're not trying to beat each other up.

“Oi, I have a question for you.” Zoro asks.

“What is it?”

“Why do you cover your other eye?”

Sanji sets his cup down, Zoro isn't the first person to ask. 

“If you laugh, I'll make you into Luffy's next meal.”

Zoro looks sincere when he says, “I wont, I promise.”

"You're lucky I'm slightly drunk right now."

The cook raises a hand, then pushes his fringe to the other side, revealing the usually hidden half of his face, including his second curled eyebrow.

“Oh. It just looks like your other one.” Zoro observes.

“Yeah but look at them together.”

Sanji pushes his hair back completely, making both eyes visible, and Zoro lets out a sound like a gurgle because he has to physically stop himself from laughing.

“You promised you wouldn’t laugh!”

“I'm- I'm not!”

"Stupid marimo! Now you know why I cover it!”

Rather than beat his green ass, Sanji opts to pour himself some more sake. He snatches Zoro's empty cup from his hands, and pours him another round too.

“Is it that much better being a cyclops all the time?” the swordsman asks, accepting the cup.

“Call me a cyclops again, I dare you.”

They're bantering like they usually do, Sanji's sure he's threatened Zoro at least twice since he came back from the galley, but for some reason it feels different, better, maybe? Roronoa Zoro is a brute, without a doubt, but Sanji's starting to believe he might be a good friend too. 

“I mean... It’s not that bad?" Zoro says reassuringly, "Is it hereditary? Did your parents also have-”

Sanji balks. “Oh my god let’s end this conversation. Talk about something else. Anything else.”

“Uhhh…? Well apparently we’re gonna arrive at the next island tomorrow?”

He takes a sip of sake, “Oh yeah, that’s good.”

“One of the locals in the last said they have an amusement park.”

“Cool, Luffy will love that.”

“Yeah.”

With their hearts on their sleeves, and alcohol in their bellies, they spend the rest of the evening chatting amicably.

 

~~~

 

When her log pose finishes setting a little less than a week later, Nami wakes Zoro up early in the morning and unabashedly forces him to accompany her during a last minute errand in town before they set sail. She stops by the galley to wrap up a few freshly baked croissants for breakfast, and tells Sanji that as soon as she gets back they can finally head out to the next island. 

Zoro, however, is _not_ a morning person- not by a longshot. She has to practically drag him out of his hammock and bribe him with food in order to snap him into some kind of capitulation.

 _He's like Luffy in some ways_ , she thinks as they're trudging one last time towards town, _quick-witted in the heat of a battle but a simpleton when it comes to the mundane._

“It’s done” she says to him when they're out of the Sunny's earshot.

"Hah?" Zoro grunts, still rather groggy, "What's done?"

“The letter.” she tells him, her incredulous tone insinuating that the answer should have been obvious. Regardless, it certainly wakes him up.

“You wrote another letter?" Zoro asks, about to shove a croissant into his mouth but pausing midway, "But you won the drinking competition- you didn’t have to.” He reminds her.

Nami however, just shrugs then adjusts the strap on her purse.

“I know, but.. I changed my mind.” 

“Oh. That’s good then.” Zoro says guilelessly, proceeding to devour the croissant. "So where are we going anyways?"

"To deliver it!" she exclaims as he grabs yet another.

"Ah."

Nami clicks her tongue at his indifference. She presumed he'd be a little more enthusiastic, considering. He seems a little spacey today, like his mind is elsewhere.

“Don’t you want to know why I changed my mind?” she asks, slightly peevish.

“If you wanna tell me then sure. Of course.” he adds, and Nami supposes he probably just didn't want to pry.

_Or it's still too early in the morning._

The sun has just begun to rise above the seam of the ocean and sky. The fisherman are setting up their stands to the side of the road, the scales of their fresh catches gleaming in the light of dawn. In the windows of some shops Nami can distinguish the shapes of the island's residents readying for the day- stocking produce shelves, flipping open signs, taking out bread and pastries from the oven-

"It has to do with you, so I think you should know.” she says quietly, and Zoro shoots her a confused look.

“Me? What did I do?”

The navigator wraps her arms almost shyly around her body, letting her gaze flicker over her new sandals, the funds for which were scrounged up by the unfortunate man beside her. Mercifully, she went for the cheaper pair.

"Well... I accepted that I was being a coward about the whole thing with Vivi." she admits to him, not looking up, "And I thought... I thought about you. And what you would do in my situation. Robin told me about what you did on Thriller Bark." she adds, and Zoro gapes.

“She did? How did she even know about that?”

"It wasn't the specifics- she only had an idea, but still." Nami continues, "I realized that I was running away from my feelings... away from something that could change my life forever. I don't deserve to be leading you all on this ship if I don't at least try to be courageous too, even if in my own way." the navigator's voice strengthens to it's usual confidence, "So I sat down and wrote Vivi a reply. My hand shook the entire time but I did it."

“Nami, you were always courageous." Zoro stops walking, and she does too, moreso out of shock from what he just said.

She looks him in the eye and chokes out a confused, _"What?"_

"Not just anyone could have joined the pirate crew that was terrorizing their town and worked their way to freedom- not if it meant everyone you knew would hate you." Zoro tells her, gaze steady and sure, "Even since then, on Alabasta, on Skypiea, Enies Lobby- you've continued to remind us all of how important you are to this crew. You know what's coming and still you take us there. You're our leader, and I would say you're the most courageous of us all. "

She's silent for a minute, processing her nakama's kind words with reticent disbelief. She had no idea Zoro thought so highly of her. In recent weeks maybe he's started to tolerate her a little, but for him to say she's been courageous from the start is a complete surprise.

She had no idea his appraisal of her was the same.

Flustered yet grateful, and wholeheartedly glad she decided to approach him on that windy day, she asks him with a demure smirk, 

“Well then, shall we go mail it?”

He matches her smile once again, and she notices idly that Zoro smiles a lot more than people seem to think he does.

“Sure, I think I saw a post office on the east end of town.” 

"Great," She nods contentedly and sets off for the other direction, “To the west end we go then.” 

“Oi!”

She doesn't need to look back to know that her nakama is following her lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this very self indulgent little story ^_^ feel free to chat with me about OP on tumblr @gray-terminal any time <3


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all, i felt as if this story needed a little something to give us some more closure on the nami/vivi situation, so below is a little drabble that i'll probably merge with the previous chapter!   
> that being said, it's not much, but enjoy <3

She is standing on the balcony of her bedroom, gazing out into the distance, over her kingdom of sand and kinship when a raggedy little pelican swoops onto the castle's ledge beside her- a letter sealed with a crimson stamp clasped in it's large beak.

 _Nami..?_ She wonders hopefully as she pats the bird on the back, holding the letter in her own trembling hands. She glances around, takes it inside and sits on the foot of her bed before tearing it open, equal parts eager and terrified to read what her nakama has written. 

She inhales, and it smells like tangerines,  

 

_Vivi,_

_I’m going to be honest and admit that I was in a dark place when I received your letter- I had convinced myself, somehow, that you’d forgotten about me- or worse, that you’d realized you're too dignified and important to associate with a our ragtag group of delinquents now that you’re basically queen (because you are)._

_But I’m not going to skirt the truth- I’m an awful person, Vivi. I steal, I lie, I deceive. I’m selfish… and while I’m happy to hear that you’re rebuilding the country you love into something new and beautiful- there’s been a gaping hole in my heart since you left us, like you kept a piece of me there with you as you stood across the shore and we sailed away, further and further until you were less than a speck in the distance._

_I don’t get to hear your singsong voice chatting about the weather by the balcony with Sanji, or look into your endlessly kind, sympathetic eyes as I battle a fever high enough to kill me. I don't get to feel your silky soft hair on the pillows beside me in the morning- as much as I adore and respect Nico Robin she's not the person I want to wake up to._

_I can’t stop remembering the days we’d sit under Merry’s mast- your head resting on my shoulder, both of us lulling into a peaceful daydream. Or that time we took a bath together and I told you all about about my past- we were in there so long that our skin wrinkled like prunes, but I came out feeling cleaner not just in body but in mind as well._

_I had actually written you a letter before I received yours, and I was going to send it, but once I held it all sealed up in my hands I felt like a coward. I thought, oh god, does my selfishness hold no bounds? She’s going to be disgusted when she reads it… we come from completely different places, she’ll never understand my feelings for her. I felt the same writing you this letter too, but you wouldn’t believe it- Zoro, of all people, made me realize how ridiculous I was being. We’ve gotten pretty close recently. It turns out he and I have a lot in common. ~~In fact, he might even be my best friend on this ship.~~_

_I’m not a helpless little girl anymore- terrified of getting her heart broken again. I’m an adult- a navigator, a fighter, a criminal, a pirate. But I’m also just a woman. So if you don’t feel the same about me as I do for you, it’ll hurt, yeah, but I know I’ll get over it (I’ve got quite a solid support system). However, if in some way, somehow, on this fantastic, erratic sea, you do…_

_I can’t give you the cookie-cutter, traditional domesticity that someone like Kohza can give you, but I can definitely give you something more interesting: a pirate’s life, and all of the adventure, excitement, and passion that comes with it. Maybe not right now, but someday in the future after we’ve both achieved our goals._

_I’ll wait as long as it takes if you’re willing to do the same._

_With more love than I know what to do with,_

_X      Nami_

_PS: As for that new fountain you mentioned? Well- I think in order to best decide what it should look like, I’d need to see it for myself ;P_

 

Vivi lowers the envelope, and oh, when did the tears begin to fall? During the the first sentence, probably. The moment she saw that familiar, elegant handwriting. 

She never did realize just how gone she was. 

_I'll do it, Nami._

She clutches the letter tight- holds it close to her racing heart. 

_As long as it takes,_

_I'll wait for you._

"Hey, princess!" right on cue, Kohza swings in through the open window. He looks as cheerful and disheveled as usual, but for the first time, she wishes he'd have knocked. "Are you okay? Your eyes..." 

"I'm fine, thank you." The bed dips when he sits beside her, his expression one of honest concern.

"Hey, you know that new fountain you wanted to build?" she asks, "The one right in front of the castle?"

He nods, "Of course, what about it? Once we decide on a design we can start construction."

"I know someone who has a great eye for that kind of stuff," Vivi tells him, her heart still fluttering, "I'm going to invite her to take a look at it."

She gets up to place the letter on her desk, right beside a faded wanted poster of a certain fiery haired someone. 

"Sounds like a good plan," Kohza fiddles with a thread on his glove, "But you know, if something is bothering you, you can always tell me."

"Now where did you get that idea?" 

She turns around to face him, a spellbinding smile stretched across her delicate features. 

"I've never felt more wonderful in my life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again, for all of the lovely feedback you've given me throughout this self indulgent little story :)


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